| i love urban dictionary |
[27 Jun 2005|03:00am] |
crunk:
crazy+drunk=crunk
i want to go to a party and get crunk.
donkey punch:
The Donkey Punch is when your engaged in anal sex and when your about to ejaculate you punch the poor little lady in the back of the head so her anal cavity tightens making the orgasm all that more better (for you ofcourse).
or
Donkey Punch is when you see a donkey and you get the need to punch it in the ass. Which causes the donkey to run up the hill faster then its ever ran before.
haha!!!!!!
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[24 May 2005|12:54pm] |
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i think i can honestly say it's safe to hate him now.
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[17 May 2005|02:36pm] |
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
wishing to be the friction in your jeans
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
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| lame excuse for an entry |
[04 May 2005|11:46am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 happy |
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music |
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smashing pumpkins |
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And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time
And so it is
The shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her sky
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes...
And so it is
Just like you said it should be
We'll both forget the breeze
Most of the time
And so it is
The colder water
The blower's daughter
The pupil in denial
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes...
Did I say that I loathe you?
Did I say that I want to
Leave it all behind?
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind...
My mind...my mind...
'Til I find somebody new
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[15 Apr 2005|11:07am] |
when i received that phone call it was by far the hardest thing to comprehend. i honestly still can't take it in. i miss him so much and i keep thinking about him. i miss him so bad. i keep remembering the call and where i was. how i was mad because i had to wake up from a nap to get on the phone. it seemed like it all belonged in a movie. the scene was played, only nooone stepped in to yell cut. there were no bloopers, or deleted scenes. the tears kept running. i was choking ans silent as i banged my head on the cabient well curling myself into a little ball on the floor. tara was hugging me but i couldn't feel her arms around me. tex kept asking me if i was okay but when he looked at me i couldn't look back. i don't really remember anything. all i remember is feeling empty. nothing could fill me up and he only thing i could see or think about was that picture. something left me that day on the phone. something i will never gain or get back. i know they say memories last forever but i am so afraid that i will forget things about him. i'm done writing for now. i hope i have another dream about him. i want it to be a good one so i can see him again.
this was wrote on april 11,2005 actually.
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[04 Feb 2005|12:21pm] |
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FUCK
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| nothing out of the ordinary |
[23 May 2004|09:01pm] |
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mood |
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 nauseated |
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music |
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brand new |
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i can't believe this quarter is almost over. it's been such a stressful time and i'll be so glad to see it end for a month or so. i don't feel like i accomplished much though. i wonder about things too much and that stresses me out. my throat hurts a lot right now. i think my allergies are starting to act up. i feel so numb and empty on the inside. my throat feels like it is closing up on me. i don't want to fall in the category of anything. i just want be who i am. i'm not a depressed kid or anything like that. i'm just not your regular teenager, or am i? am i just as typical as everyone else. i just have so many things that get to me and it takes over who i am. i often say hurtful things to people i care about and i honestly don't mean a word of it. it just goes back to the letting things get to me too much. people tend to keep pusing my buttons and digging under my skin. i have no other way to defend myself so i shout out the first thought i have. i then feel so awful and i beat myself up. i'm a very stubborn person and refuse to give in.. (most of the time) but when i fight with someone i am ALWAYS the one to apologize even if i'm not in the wrong. it's like i can't stand the fact of someone being upset with me so i give in. i wonder waht makes me feel like i need people to like me. it's not even the fact that everyone has to like me but.. i can't put my finger on it. i wish i could say that i don't care what others feel about me but then i would be a liar. this whole entry is a jumble of sentences but oh well i am able to vent.
i wish i had true friends and i wish i had someone to love me back. i wish so many pointless things and none of them come true. i like when a friend says they will always be there for you but in reality they never are.
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[19 Apr 2004|09:57pm] |
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mood |
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i had this dream last night.. well i wouldnt even say a dream. i was standing on a step at my old house and donnie came up to me and said "i just wanted to hug you one last time." on the way to school this morning i said to tara that i had a dream about donnie and she asked if it was a dream or a visit type thing. i explained the dream and she said right after her father passed away she had the same thing except her dad sat on her bed and said everything would be all right. i also told my mom my dream and she said that when her dad passed away the same thing happened only she was standing in the kitchen and he told her that he would be fine and not to worry. tara said she believes that when a person passes they let people know they care. i know that was donnie.it was too real and i have never felt anything that real. it made me happy but at the same time miss him more thanever. it gave me a sense of comfort. i can cry right now so i better quit typing. donnie meant the world to me.
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[15 Apr 2004|07:45pm] |
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i can't stop crying. my body is so drained from crying. the past 2 nights i have cried myself to sleep and when i wake up i am still crying. this still can't be true. i have barely eaten anything because the thought of food makes me want to gag at this point. donnie was everything to me and i just can't .. i just can't believe he is gone. god even as i type those words it doesn't seem real. i want to wake up fromt this nightmare. it wasn't suppose to happen like this. i rememeber always thinking that if someone close to me ever died that i would go to donnie's because i knew he would make me feel better. i would just sit by him and he would talk me through it. now , oh god i just don't know. then i was thinking about how i always thought that when i moved away from the neighborhood and got married i would come and visit donnie. he always said he never wanted to move from there because it's where he grew up. i thought how cool it would be to be able to come see him and the old neighborhood where we both grew up together. now though i can't help but think that we really didn't even begin to grow up. i keep thinking of the movie my girl and how vada felt when thomas jay died. whenever i watched that movie i would cry for what seemed like days but in reality it only lasted about 3 minutes. i thought how horrible it would feel to lose a friend like that. that was just a movie though and this is real life. now i know how it feels and it's by far the worst feeling ive had in my life. i dont even know how i am going to be able to go through with tomorrow. i started to cry in class today and when i was waiting for tara. then i cried the whole car ride home from her friend's house but i don't think she knew. i was still crying when we got to her house. my mom called me about an hour later to see what i wanted her to write on his card for the flowers for the furneral. i lost it. i'm loosing it now as i type and my words are once again not making since. i know he is in a better place now but i just want my best friend back. i just want to be able to hug him one last time and let him now how much i really do care. he meant everything to me in this world and to not have him in my life anymore just doesnt seem right. i keep looking at my phone like expecting a text from him or i keep thinking to myself "oh, i should text donnie and see what he is up to." when will i finally accept this for what it is. i think it will take forever. because i can't even bring myself to say the words. they just dont fit together. in no shape way or form. the pieces dont fit together at all. i just want him back. please let me make it through tomorrow without breaking down in front of everyone.
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[13 Apr 2004|07:59pm] |
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mood |
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words can't even express how i feel right now. i have been crying since i got the phone call from my mother. the phone call saying that one of my best friends died in a car accident. i can't even make sense of it all. it doesn't seem real to me. i keep getting these thoughts about him and then i realize he is really gone. i didn't get to say goodbye or tell him how much he truly did mean to me. the past couple times he has texted me i put him off thinking i could always write him back later. and now i can't do that. it's tearing me up on the inside and i can't stop from thinking how horrible it was of me to not respond to him. this is frigging insane. i can't feel anything right now. he was such a big part of my life and now i can't even tell him. i grew up with him and then in the beginning of our teenage years we "went out" and it was such an awesome thing. he was like my first real boyfriend. even after we broke up we reamained friends. everything seems so blurry and as i type the words they are running together and not making sense. i can't seem to grasp this. i'm thinking about today and how i kept standing outside in the rain and i was freezing. i heard a noise and looked across the street and there was a slight car accident. i found it crazy because it happened so fast. the towed the car away and everybody was fine so i thought nothing about it. i just found it wierd beacause i had never seen a car accident that close to me. i came back to my cousin's house and went to sleep. my cousin woke me up and told me my mom was on the phone. my mom started with "hi baby" and then led into "i have something sad to tell you" my first thought was something about school and whatnot. but she then said "donnie was in a car accident and died" i was standing against a wall and my body just fell to the ground. i can't stop crying and i feel as if i'm drained of everything. my whole body is numb and shaking. i keep thinking about his parents and how they are taking it and then i'm thinking about his girlfriend and baby. i have had people in my life die but it never hit me this hard. i can't stop thinking about his furneral and me going. if i go which i'm positive i will it will be my first furneral. i just find it very sad that it had to be one of my best friends who is so very young. i can't write anymore. my eyes are swollen. i just can't write
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